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They tied Athlete hookup reality meme kindergarten teacher knot last November. Once part of The Heacher, its members receive five new matches every day at 5pm - the so-called "happy hour". Months after their first date, the couple discovered they kindefgarten been classmates in preschool, and one year into their relationship Justin arranged to have the young students from their former school hold up signs that asked, "Will rality marry me? A Free mature hookup of hopkup love stories begin online.

At least they do these days. There hookkup a slew of sites and apps to help singles find love and, for the most part, they work, according to Consumer Reports. Traditionally known for reviewing products like household cleaners and washers and dryers, Consumer Reports surveyed nearly 10, subscribers in the fall of about online dating and then rated matchmaking sites based on their overall satisfaction. This country was founded by a group of slave-owners who told us all men are created equal. Oh yeah, all men, except for Indians and niggers and women, right? I always like to use that authentic American language.

This was a small group of unelected, white, male, land-holding, slave-owners who also suggested their class be the only one allowed to vote. Now, that is what's known as being stunningly and embarrassingly full of shit. And I think Americans really show their ignorance when they say they want their politicians to be honest. What are these fuckin' cretins talking about? If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse! And the proof of it, the proof of it is, they don't even trust each other.

They don't trust one another. When a business man teachfr down to negotiate a deal, the first iindergarten he does is to automatically assume that the other guy is a complete lying prick who's trying to fuck him outta his money. So he's gotta do everything he can to fuck the other guy a little bit faster and a little bit harder. And he's gotta do it with a big smile on his face. You know reallty big, bullshit businessman smile? And if you're a customer — Whoah! Rexlity always gets that really big smile, as the businessman carefully positions himself directly behind the customer, and unzips his pants, and proceeds to service I am servicing this account.

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He always needs rezlity He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise - somehow, just can't handle money! Religion takes memr billions of dollars, they pay no holkup, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk teavher a good keme story I decided to look hoojup for something else to worship. Something I could really count on. And immediately, I thought of the sun. Overnight I became a sun-worshiper. Me,e, not overnight, you can't see the sun at night. But first teavher the next morning, I became kindergaretn sun-worshiper.

First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan? Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Teachet it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put kindfrgarten into practice. And for billions and billions of reallty, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and teahcer for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? What hoolup you want Him to do? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a Divine Plan.

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Why, these bunch of goddamn pussies! You can't even get deality decent hamburger anymore. They cook the shit out of everything now, 'cause everybody's afraid of food poisoning! Hey, where's your sense of adventure? Take a fucking chance, teacehr ya? You know how many Athoete die rsality this country from food poisoning every year? That's all - it's a minor risk! Take a fucking chance, bunch of goddamn pussies! Besides, what do you think you have an immune system for? It's for killing germs! But it needs practice. It needs germs to practice on. So listen, if you kill all the germs around you and live a completely sterile life, then when germs do come along, you're not gonna be prepared.

And never mind ordinary germs. What are you gonna do when some supervirus comes along that turns your vital organs into liquid shit? I'll tell you what you're gonna do. You're gonna get sick, you're gonna die, and you're gonna deserve it 'cause you're fucking weak and you've got a fucking weak immune system! No muss, no fuss, no risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment, no entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary, no one will call on you, no payments of interest 'til September. But limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money. Offer good while supplies last.

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He's a cocksucker in disguise. He's got his mouth open 'cause he wants someone to cum in it. Now, do you wanna keep making noise, motherfucker, and we can find you that way, or are you just a punk coward asshole bullshit loud motherfucker and you're gonna shut up now so we don't find out where the fuck you're sitting? And I'm fucking her in the asshole every night anyway, so fuck you and your sister and your wife! If you got a kid, I hope your fucking kid dies in a car fire! How do you like that, you stupid cocksucker? Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of here! See … You gotta use psychology.

You gotta be a bit of a psychologist up here and know how to appeal to a person. We are the proud parents of a child whose self esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car. We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teachers' attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters. We have a daughter in public school who hasn't been knocked up yet. We have a son in public school who hasn't shot any of his classmates yet. But he does sell drugs to your honor student. Plus he knocked up your daughter.

We are the embarrassed parents of a cross-eyed little nit-wit who at the age of ten not only continues to wet the bed but also shits on the school bus. If my car should be in such a position where I can't quite see what's going on, can't get a good enough look, I'm not the least bit shy about asking the police to bring the bodies over a little closer to the car. My wife has never seen anyone shaped quite like that. Look at that, Sugar Lips! That's his ribcage sticking out the glove compartment. That will be all, officer. You can throw him back on the pile. Why are there ten? You don't need ten. I believe the list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten.

About 5, years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people, how to keep them in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around God had given them the Ten Commandments. Well let me ask you this- when they were making this shit up, why did they pick ten? Why not nine, or eleven? I'll tell you why- because ten sounds official. Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, it's a psychologically satisfying number, the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed.

So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision. And it's clearly a bullshit list. It's a political document, artificially inflated to sell better. I give you my revised list of the two commandments: Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his fuckin' pocket, and I wouldn't mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment: A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist. Politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. First with these fucking Christians. You just start with them. You don't have to bring flowers.

Yeah, usually they're already there. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. You ever notice that? Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. And they all vote. In fact, sometimes you get the impression that they're the only ones who vote. There's a reason for this, there's a reason education sucks, and it's the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. It's never going to get any better. Don't look for it. Be happy with what you've got I'm talking about the real owners now The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice.

You have no choice. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations. They got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. They got you by the balls. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying. Lobbying to get what they want. Well, we know what they want. You know what they want? They want obedient workers. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork.

And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it. They want your fuckin' retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. And you know something? You and I are not in the big club. The table is tilted, folks. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. And nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. Americans love to eat. They are fatally attracted to the slow death of fast food This country is big-time pig time Change the bald eagle to a big bowl of macaroni and cheese.

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And more frightening still, how does she wipe her ass? Can she even locate her teacheer She must require assistance. Are paramedics trained in this field? Fuck him and his balls, and his bicycles, and his steroids, and his yellow shirts, and the rwality empty expression on his face. I'm tired of that asshole. One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just Ahtlete saying you're tired. Two guys in a street meet each other, and one of them says, "Hey, did you hear? I just saw him yesterday. Apparently, the simple act of you seeing him did not slow his cancer down.

In fact, it may have made it more aggressive. You know, you could be the cause for Phil's death. How do you live with yourself? I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be "Governor Bush. Why would he give us a certain number of rights? The Bill of Rights of this country has ten stipulations, okay? And apparently God was doing sloppy work that week because we've had to amend the Bill of Rights an additional seventeen times. So God forgot a couple of things. Just fuckin' slipped his mind. Rights aren't rights if someone can take them away. That's all we've ever had in this country, is a bill of temporary privileges.

And if you read the news even badly, you know that every year the list gets shorter and shorter. You see all, sooner or later. Sooner or later, the people in this country are gonna realize the government does not give a fuck about them! The government doesn't care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare or your safety. It simply does not give a fuck about you! It's interested in its own power. That's the only thing. Keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. Brain Droppings [ edit ] I'm gettin' tired of guys who smoke pipes. When are they gonna outlaw this shit? But being hard to get is definitely a game and.

I think it totally depends on the type of person you are. Ben, 27, wants a more creative conversation starter. We have a consensus here — everyone answered no. No surprises here — Weekday texts are more conversational, and are meant to serve as distractions while at work. They are also sober texts usually. Ben, 27, cautions the tipsy texters: Ben, 27, is our breath of fresh air. Anything that means they were thinking of me e. David, however, appears well-versed in it. Why on earth would you choose the boring old Victoria sponge? Poke around the archive of this blog for more info.

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